It’s been five weeks since my plan for this year was upended. I’m trying to avoid falling into an abyss of despair, and that’s using up most of my spoons.
We’re fortunate in that we have been given a waiver on the 28 days of emergency temporary accommodation. That means that we know that we have a roof over our head until we’re able to sort out permanent accommodation. That’s one less thing to worry about. I’m grateful for that, and I’m grateful for the support that we’re receiving from both friends and strangers. But I’m struggling…
Before the storm, I could spend time focusing on things, but at the moment I zone out far too often to actually get anything done. I want to be able to do something (anything!), but I just can’t. It’s frustrating.
My son and I have both always been fairly anxious, but our anxiety is expressed in different ways. He prefers to stay indoors a lot more than I do. This has never really been an issue before because at home we had a rhythm that was comfortable for us. I had space outdoors where I could spend time by myself. Now we’re confined to one room and I’m feeling trapped. I can sit outside our room, but when I do, most people take it as an invitation to talk to me when I just need to be left alone because talking is hard. Added to that, there’s a person here whose transantagonistic actions have made this a very uncomfortable space.
It’s not all bad though. We have a roof over our head. While I really miss their presence, our cats and birds are being cared for. We’re physically safe. It looks as though we might be able to move in one or two weeks’ time, and I really want to be able to focus on the positives, but those positives just seem to come with more uncertainty and a whole lot of adulting.
We will be ok though, and we will get through this, but as I said in my last post, getting through this is really hard. It’s exhausting.
I really hate that I have to ask for help because I know people have helped us so much already and I don’t want to burden people with our problems. But please can you share our crowdfunding link. It will help us move quicker and get our family back together sooner, so that we can work on getting into better headspaces than the ones we’re in right now.